I’m 103 and other musings plus another gold nugget from Oswald Chambers


Mr. Chambers does it again. This. I NEEDED to read this. It is just another huge confirmation that the decision Nick and I recently made for our family was the right thing for us. 

It would be hard for me to explain why this meant so much to me without telling you a lot of our personal history and I don’t think I want to do that… But it is still an amazing read for any Christian. 

If you don’t own a copy of My Utmost for His Highest, I highly recommend getting one or downloading the phone app or having both the book and the phone app, like me. Be forewarned, however, there is more than one version. The original version written in the early 1900’s (1911-1917) and an updated version that puts Mr. Chambers old timey speech into more modern language. I personally prefer the original old timey one because I think the way Mr. Chambers phrases things is poetic and makes me think. Also, I’m secretly 103 and kindly request that you get off my lawn, you dang kids. 

Anyway… go read it. HashtagGoodStuff

Advertisements

Saying the wrong thing and telling lies

Pride is sneaky
It’s not easy to see
Right away
You say
Only God can judge me
Held up high like a trophy
Like it’s magic, no one can touch me
Finding beauty in all your selfies
You live righteous, K, I’m not judging
Straight edge player marching to your own beat
Fell in love with the rhythm of your own need
Call them haterz if they don’t bow at your feet
But you’re just living like you were always made to be

Yeah, pride is sneaky
Drown so easy in our own deceit
Don’t come easy to humility
Don’t you know the earth goes to the meek
The future of the human race looks bleak
Cuz we let pride dictate the way we speak

Never thankful, never grateful
But always hashtag blessed
When’s the last time you bowed before Him
Laid your heart bare and confessed
Never sorry, not remorseful
Always hashtag amazing
But it’s not hard to be amazed
When it’s yourself you’re always praising

But who am I to judge
I’m selfish, lazy, mean and proud
Quick to anger
Quick to tear down
Slow to hear what’s clear and loud
I wish I was pure and gentle
Humble, patient, kind and wise
Instead I’m crazy, scarred and mental
Saying the wrong thing and telling lies

I know your pride won’t let you hear this
But that’s something I already knew
Cuz that’s the great thing about pride
It protects you from what’s true

A Whole New World (Don’t You Dare Close Your Eyes)

Momentous events in the lives of my amazing girls this week.

First up: Meghan, my beautiful and talented 11 year old, received her first insulin pump this week.  She is now a card-carrying member of the insulin-pump-wearing Type 1 diabetes crowd.  It’s amazing for her to no longer have to get 4 or more shots each day.  (For those of you who don’t know, an insulin pump delivers small amounts of insulin to her continuously through a tiny needle inserted just below the skin.)  It’s taking some getting used to but Meghan can already feel a huge difference in her everyday life and she’s “pumped” about it.*

 

Next up: Sammee, my cute and hilarious 8 year old, received her first pair of glasses this week.  She was blind but now she sees! Someone give me an Amen! Hallelujah!  I knew something was up a couple weeks ago when she tried my glasses on and said they helped her see better. Lol.  Thankfully, her eyesight isn’t anywhere near as bad as mine and she has yet to flush her glasses down the toilet.  But glasses are opening up her eyes to the world around her.* 
 

My rad girls are just getting radder by the day and growing up right before my eyes.  (Sniff, sniff.)  So on that note, I leave you with this video by Nick Pitera, a guy who sings a song. (And boy does he sing it.)

*All puns in this blog post were entirely intentional.  In some cases, puns are not intended by the speaker of the pun and said speaker will then say, “No pun intended.”  Please note, in the case of this blog post, all puns were, in fact, intended.

What happened to my glasses? (The true harrowing tale.)

If you know me IRL, you know that I need corrective lenses to function.  I’ve worn glasses or contacts since the third grade.  (SMH, my first pair of glasses…) Sometimes I go full on contacts but most times I’m really lazy and just do glasses.

About a year and a half ago I went full time contacts again and bought a year’s supply.  Then in February of this year I got down to my last pair of contacts.  I was feeling lazy again and decided not to reorder.  I’d go back to full time glasses and save my last pair for emergencies and/or dates.  And that plan worked pretty well… until… July 22nd, 2015 (otherwise known as Wednesday).

July 22nd, 2015. The day of my 15th wedding anniversary.

Fifteen years together with Nick, my sexy guitar-playing, refrigeration-business-managing, worship-leading, baseball-loving, record-collecting, father-to-my-kids-ing, partner-in-crime-ing husband.  I was gearing up for an epic afternoon of hanging with my dude and decided it was time to bust out the ole contacts.

lsp cobras

I put in my contacts and fixed my makeup and hair.  I looked smokin’.  I set my glasses in the same place I always put them when I wear contacts, on top of my makeup case, that way when I take out my contacts later they will be ready and waiting for me to don them once again.

Then I did the most normal thing in the world… I went pee.

Now, my ensuite bathroom is pretty small and the toilet is really close to the bathroom counter.  Normally, this doesn’t present any problems.  I stood (as one does) and pushed the handle to flush, at the same time grabbing a bracelet I wanted wear off of the top of my makeup case.  (You can see where this is going.)  The bracelet caught the corner of my folded glasses and flung them into the open toilet bowl just as the water swirled out, carrying my glasses with it.

That’s right.  You did read that correctly.  I flushed my glasses down the toilet.

toilet flushing gif

I literally began laughing and crying at the same time.  (Using the force and sheer will power I commanded my tears to stay in their ducts, I wasn’t about to get tear streaks all through my hot makeup job.)  To his credit, Nick waited a little while before making fun of me.  Meghan and Sammee showed no restraint, however.  Neither did our buddy Dylan who was over when it happened to watch the girls for us.  And neither has anyone else who has heard this story.  So, now that you’ve read the true harrowing tale, I don’t expect you to either.  Lawl it up.

lol gif

Today is July 25, 2015 (otherwise known as Saturday) and something pretty amazing happened today to complete the tale.

First, as you’ve probably already guessed, the toilet was unusable after that.  Nick consulted his plumber buddy and it was determined that we’d have to unbolt the toilet and lift it off the floor to remove the glasses.  This was a very sad thing for me to hear.  Not only did I lose a good pair of glasses but now I’d have to wait to use my bathroom until the unbolting could occur.  And I really wasn’t looking forward to the mess it would make.

But, as I said, something amazing happened today that changed all of that.

You see, the other day a Walmart cashier overheard me telling this story to someone else and decided to share a flushing story of his own.  He told me how he’d flushed a toothbrush down the toilet and managed to fish it out with a wire hanger.  I didn’t think much about the story until this morning when I woke up and couldn’t get it out of my head.  I went to the closet, found an old wire hanger, untwisted it and went fishing.  I didn’t have any luck, though.  Nothing was biting.

But Nick saw what I was doing and decided to give it a go… and… HE GOT MY GLASSES OUT!  UNDAMAGED!!


Not only is he sexy but it turns out he’s great at fishing glasses out of toilets!  Who knew?

So that’s it really.  The whole true story.  I haven’t decided if I’ll try to sanitize my glasses and keep them.  I went to the optometrist yesterday and bought another year’s supply of contacts and ordered new glasses so having my old ones back is just an amazing bonus.

I have learned one very valuable lesson from all this though: Always shut the lid before flushing.

P.S. If you haven’t done so yet, check this out. It’s amaz-zaz-zing.

P.P.S. I have mailed out all the cameras but there’s still time to get yours.
winking taco

P.P.P.S. I’m putting together a little give-away, so stay tuned to this bat channel for a chance to win big.

DRIVE!

For those of you waiting for your camera… I haven’t mailed them yet. Just a little bit of honesty for you. My 15th wedding anniversary was yesterday and I “lost” my glasses. (More on that in my next post.) But I’ll try to get them mailed by this weekend. 

While you’re waiting you need to head on over to my new favorite web comic: Drive. It’s an amazingly clever and absolutely brilliant comic by artist Dave Kellett. It’s an ongoing story, not a non-sequitur, so you really need to put on your nerd pants and start at the beginning. If you’re anything like me then you love humorous sci-fi stories set hundreds of years in the future. But don’t let me spoil it for you with spoilers. Click that link and settle in. 

  

How long will I love you

abouttime-hero

This is my absolute favorite song right now.  I can’t get it out of my head.  Jon Boden, Sam Sweeney and Ben Coleman cover it on the About Time soundtrack and I heard it for the first time when I watched the movie.  Since then I can’t stop listening to it, singing it, playing it on the piano.  Here are the lyrics and a couple different versions of it, including the original by The Waterboys and one by Ellie Goulding.


How long will I love you?
As long as there are stars above you
And longer if I can

How long will I need you?
As long as the seasons need to
Follow their plan

How long will I be with you?
As long as the sea is bound to
Wash upon the sand

How long will I want you?
As long as you want me to
And longer by far

How long will I hold you?
As long as your father told you
As long as you are

How long will I give to you?
As long as I live through you
However long you say

How long will I love you?
As long as stars are above you
And longer if I may


The Waterboys

Jon Boden, Sam Sweeney and Ben Coleman

Ellie Goulding



A Serious Condition

 

(That’s my husband on the right wearing the seriously ill scally cap. That’s his dad on the left with the seriously rad moustache.)

Today is Father’s Day.

Over twelve years ago, my husband Nick was afflicted with a strange condition that reshaped him and changed him into a new creature. The condition: fatherhood.  His new identity: father.

At first the symptoms were subtle, as my abdomen grew, no significant physical changes took place in him.  But after Meghan greeted us for the first time, the condition began to manifest itself in more pronounced ways.  At any given time, Nick could be seen rocking her to sleep or changing a diaper.  His speech patterns changed as he began making cutesy noises in the general direction of our infant.  Strange for a man in his twenties, enjoying the prime of his life.  But the condition had taken root and there was no known cure.

Over the years the condition has only worsened.  Consider these manifestations: getting kicked and peed on when our daughters went through their “climbing into our bed at night” stage, sleeping in uncomfortable hospital chairs when both of our daughters were hospitalized (at different times), missing out on events he wanted to go to because we had family stuff planned (and it was more important to him), swimming with our daughters (he hates to swim), watching cartoons almost every single day, working hard to make sure our diabetic daughter has never had a lapse in insurance coverage, eating the food Sammee makes for him, wearing jewelry that Meghan made for him, quitting his recording studio to spend more time with his family, spending copious amounts of money on special curriculum for our dyslexic daughters, enduring the pain of stepping on beads time and again to support his daughters growing jewelry making enterprise, listening to Let It Go way too many times to count, dressing up in costume every single Halloween simply because his daughters asked him to, and the list goes on.  Seriously, I could go on forever.

I’ve seen fatherhood change my husband in many ways.  He is more gentle, more patient, full of humility and kindness.  Being a father has left him more sensitive to the needs of others and made him a better listener.  Fatherhood has caused him to be more self-less, investing time in others that he could be investing in himself.  He is interested in learning and improving himself as well as teaching others and helping them to improve as well.

Though I doubt scientists will find a cure for this affliction any time soon, I sincerely hope they never do.  Sure you can avoid the affects of this condition if you stay far away from your offspring or if you actively try to remain selfish and ridiculous.  But really, why would you?  As far as I can see, becoming a father is one of the best things that has ever happened to my husband in his entire life.  I’m proud to call him the father of my children.