Ok so here’s the thing. About a year ago I was minding my own business when

I became allergic to sunflower oil

You wouldn’t really think that would be a problem but

Sunflower oil is surprisingly in a lot of things

I became allergic to peanuts too but it hasn’t affected me as much

Ok so what happened is

Aliens took over my body and their DNA couldn’t handle the sunflowers because it’s their natural enemy

At least I think that’s what happened. I don’t really remember. Aliens and all. Ok actually the truth is one night I ate some peanut sauce and I woke up having an allergic reaction. I went all my life not allergic to peanuts. Suddenly I am. Ok so how does that translate to a sunflower allergy you ask. I’m glad you asked me that. I had to look it up. I looked it up on Google and it said

Aliens took over your body and their DNA can’t handle the sunflowers because it’s their natural enemy

Well that clears that up

It’s also in a lot of hygiene products. I’m not gonna tell you how I found that out

Use your imagination. I’m sure you’ll come up with something very interesting. Anyway. I have an epipen now. I have to be careful. I have to read ingredients on everything I buy. Which is fine. Reading is fundamental. I do know someday there will be a cure. NASA is working on it. Why NASA you ask. Well

Aliens take over your body and their DNA can’t handle the sunflowers because it’s their natural enemy

Yeah that’s why NASA. Gotta fight the aliens off. Duh.

Facts:

• I have bitten people who wouldn’t stop touching me
• I am more of a lover than a fighter
• I am definitely a crier
• I would for sure get my ass kicked
• But that hasn’t stopped me from putting myself between my loved ones and someone threatening them more than once
• And I am not afraid of violence but I am afraid of not being there for someone I love
• So yeah don’t test me bc I will either:
  • Cry
  • Or bite you
    • And what if I’m secretly a zombie and you get infected. Then what dumbass?

Here is a song I wrote a long ass time ago but it is still one of my faves. I need to write more stuff like this. Enjoy. Fun times.

Song, song, song.

I am aware at this point that the only person listening to my music is my son. Lol. I am ok with this. And I’m not gonna stop posting. I’m a bit like Michael Scott when Pam told him to stop dating her mom. Or John Locke on Lost. I’ve always been a bit stubborn.

So anyway… I wrote the song below a while back. I don’t actually know when. But I was flipping through my current songbook this morning and wanted to throw it up here. Warning: the video is long because I talk a lot. *Shocker*