Alchemize alchemize alchemize alchemize…

You can burn me down strip me clean
Turn me into something obscene
Leave my bones but take my flesh
I don’t care just make me fresh

Cuz I don’t want to be this creature I’ve become
Washing over me til everything is numb
And I don’t go out and stand in the rain anymore
And it’s something I can no longer ignore

I have a galaxy inside my mind
But I spend all of my time trying to survive
And if I’m going to go down in flames
Let me be the one this time to blame

Alchemize alchemize alchemize alchemize…

My hand is out so give me the match
I will gladly burn this broken wretch
Cuz she has two feet and she has two hands
So it’s fucking time she took a stand

Cuz she doesn’t want to be this creature she’s become
She lost the fucking beat to her own fucking drum
And she doesn’t go and stand in the rain anymore
Money makes us all into whores

I’m still trying to find you
Here in the dark where no light is shining
I’m still trying to find you
They’ve kept us apart
But I won’t stop fighting

Though I’ve lost my way

I won’t stop until I find you
You’re everything to me
You’re everything I need

There’s an empty place inside my heart
I fill the space with empty thoughts
Keep hanging on by just a thread
But everything inside feels dead
And even this refrain feels hollow in my throat

I swear, never in a thousand years, will you be able to guess who/what this song is really about. And, to be honest, I don’t really care if anyone knows. But not knowing makes the song better. Trust me.

I don’t know why I listen to you
All you tell me is lies
Fame and fortune one day
The next it’s all stormy skies
I trusted you with my heart
I keep asking for advice
I know I need to quit you baby

But I just can’t walk away from you
I haven’t even tried
How can I walk away
When you’re the only one
Who’s always right by my side
Through every heartbreak
And all the dark nights
You always know just what to say
To ease the pain
So I know it’ll be alright

I don’t know what’s next for us
All I have left is dreams
You’re always trying to tell me baby
Nothing’s as bad as it seems
I want to believe you
I hold this hope deep inside
Let’s go around again baby

We’ve been together
Such a long time
Too long to say
I hope I never
Have to live this life
Without your face
Cuz I just can’t walk away

Ok. I will be the first to admit this song is really depressing. Lol. But I am only mildly depressed. I reconciled within myself a long time ago that I wasn’t on people’s radar. But that’s just the nature of everyone being their own main character. I just had a hard day and couldn’t think of anyone who would really be concerned about it with me. I tried. I reached out to a few people but then just gave up. It’s Tuesday. Lol. And my hard day wasn’t even really about me. But I felt shitty when I left work and just wanted someone to talk to and there was no one. Some of that is on me. I have become a lot more closed off than I used to be. Anyway, my little emo attitude is temporary. I bounce back harder than a dick on blue pills. Yes, feeling emo at the moment. But gimme a few and I’ll feel like the queen I am again.

Little goblins are running through my head
They want me dead they want me dead
To erase the very thought of me
So they can be free they can be free

They whisper nothing really matters
And no one cares at all
And no one wants to hear you sing another stupid song
And no one is listening to anything you say
Quiet little one while we steal your life away

Everything is rotten to the core
And I don’t want to cry anymore

Little goblins are running through my head
They’ve all be fed they’ve all been fed
Still they hunger for what I cannot give
I want to live I want to live

They whisper nothing really matters
And no one knows you’re here
And no one would even notice if you suddenly disappeared
And all the ones you have loved have moved on with their lives
And no one would even notice if you died

Everything is rotten to the core
And I don’t want to cry anymore

Maybe if I’d been a better whore
Said yes and please and thank you I’ll take more
And I can always give until I’m poor

I don’t want to cry anymore