my rad girls

The one and only “Mermaid Rap”

Sorry, it’s been a bit since I posted.  I have some pictures from the disposable camera giveaway to upload but I haven’t gotten around to it yet because I’ve been mondo busy.  We started school and since we homeschool that means a lot more work for me.  Also, we joined a homeschool co-op this semester and that’s been an adventure.  Plus, of course, there are preparations for the Christmas play at church underway, which I wrote this year and am heavily involved in making happen, cap’n.

But, even with all this going on, Meghan and I felt the need to write a rap for you…

… about mermaids.

It’s epic, baby.  Enjoy this little beauty, lyrics below.

P.S. Still working on the details for the next giveaway! Stay tuned to this bat channel for the deets.

Why you searchin’

Why you lookin’ for dreams

We’re not a dream come true 

We’re a dream unseen

Everybody on the ocean wants to find us

Asking themselves “What kind of

Girls want to live on the ocean floor?”

But we got all we want couldn’t ask for more

Beauty all around like you’ve never seen

Live in a world of wonder like you’re a livin’ a dream

Every day a new wave comes and washes us clean

Ain’t no wonder why we livin’ here it’s easy to see

Cuz we’re queens 

Under the sea

We rock the ocean man you know what I mean

Throws your fins in the air if you’ve got time to spare 

Our beats are too fresh but we just don’t care

Ahead of our time, always innovatin’

While you lubbers up there just be trippin’ and hatin’ 

Y’all just jealous cuz you wish that you could be us

But we’re too fast for ya son you’ll never beat us

Our wake is deadly 

We can swim for days

And don’t look in our eyes

Hypnotized by our gaze

Lovely, but lethal

Like a ninja with a seashell

The ocean is our playground 

Don’t forget that little detail

Lubbers in their boats always trying to catch us

But we’re the queens of the sea

So don’t forget us

A Whole New World (Don’t You Dare Close Your Eyes)

Momentous events in the lives of my amazing girls this week.

First up: Meghan, my beautiful and talented 11 year old, received her first insulin pump this week.  She is now a card-carrying member of the insulin-pump-wearing Type 1 diabetes crowd.  It’s amazing for her to no longer have to get 4 or more shots each day.  (For those of you who don’t know, an insulin pump delivers small amounts of insulin to her continuously through a tiny needle inserted just below the skin.)  It’s taking some getting used to but Meghan can already feel a huge difference in her everyday life and she’s “pumped” about it.*

 

Next up: Sammee, my cute and hilarious 8 year old, received her first pair of glasses this week.  She was blind but now she sees! Someone give me an Amen! Hallelujah!  I knew something was up a couple weeks ago when she tried my glasses on and said they helped her see better. Lol.  Thankfully, her eyesight isn’t anywhere near as bad as mine and she has yet to flush her glasses down the toilet.  But glasses are opening up her eyes to the world around her.* 
 

My rad girls are just getting radder by the day and growing up right before my eyes.  (Sniff, sniff.)  So on that note, I leave you with this video by Nick Pitera, a guy who sings a song. (And boy does he sing it.)

*All puns in this blog post were entirely intentional.  In some cases, puns are not intended by the speaker of the pun and said speaker will then say, “No pun intended.”  Please note, in the case of this blog post, all puns were, in fact, intended.

A Serious Condition

 

(That’s my husband on the right wearing the seriously ill scally cap. That’s his dad on the left with the seriously rad moustache.)

Today is Father’s Day.

Over twelve years ago, my husband Nick was afflicted with a strange condition that reshaped him and changed him into a new creature. The condition: fatherhood.  His new identity: father.

At first the symptoms were subtle, as my abdomen grew, no significant physical changes took place in him.  But after Meghan greeted us for the first time, the condition began to manifest itself in more pronounced ways.  At any given time, Nick could be seen rocking her to sleep or changing a diaper.  His speech patterns changed as he began making cutesy noises in the general direction of our infant.  Strange for a man in his twenties, enjoying the prime of his life.  But the condition had taken root and there was no known cure.

Over the years the condition has only worsened.  Consider these manifestations: getting kicked and peed on when our daughters went through their “climbing into our bed at night” stage, sleeping in uncomfortable hospital chairs when both of our daughters were hospitalized (at different times), missing out on events he wanted to go to because we had family stuff planned (and it was more important to him), swimming with our daughters (he hates to swim), watching cartoons almost every single day, working hard to make sure our diabetic daughter has never had a lapse in insurance coverage, eating the food Sammee makes for him, wearing jewelry that Meghan made for him, quitting his recording studio to spend more time with his family, spending copious amounts of money on special curriculum for our dyslexic daughters, enduring the pain of stepping on beads time and again to support his daughters growing jewelry making enterprise, listening to Let It Go way too many times to count, dressing up in costume every single Halloween simply because his daughters asked him to, and the list goes on.  Seriously, I could go on forever.

I’ve seen fatherhood change my husband in many ways.  He is more gentle, more patient, full of humility and kindness.  Being a father has left him more sensitive to the needs of others and made him a better listener.  Fatherhood has caused him to be more self-less, investing time in others that he could be investing in himself.  He is interested in learning and improving himself as well as teaching others and helping them to improve as well.

Though I doubt scientists will find a cure for this affliction any time soon, I sincerely hope they never do.  Sure you can avoid the affects of this condition if you stay far away from your offspring or if you actively try to remain selfish and ridiculous.  But really, why would you?  As far as I can see, becoming a father is one of the best things that has ever happened to my husband in his entire life.  I’m proud to call him the father of my children.

The Funny, Little Elf and The Ghost

It’s story cube time again in school, my friends. If you enjoy a good tale made up of random ideas drawn from 9 picture die and told by an 11 year old and an 8 year old (with the help of their clever mother), then this is the story for you.

I now present to you: The Funny, Little Elf and The Ghost

Once upon a time, there was a mysterious lock… on a door… in a house. No one knew what the lock went to.  It was magical.  Now, there was a funny little elf.  This elf would take his funny little elf bike and ride around the neighborhood until one day he saw a new house.  It was mysterious and weird to him because he knew all the houses in the neighborhood, he knew everyone in the neighborhood and he knew everything about the neighborhood.  He went up to this mysterious, new house and knocked on the door.  When no one answered right away, he tapped his foot loudly and huffed then knocked impatiently, even louder.  Suddenly, a ghost answered the door and went “Bbblllllbblblblbllll!!!”  The elf jumped practically out of his skin!  He was confused by all this and annoyed but mostly confused.

He went home to ponder the meaning of it all.  He pulled out this lucky abacus.  It always gave him the correct answers to the most difficult math questions so he was sure it could help him solve the mystery of the new house with the magical lock.  He stared at the abacus for days.  Finally, he knew what to do.  The abacus told him to fly a rocket up into space and look down on the earth and say, “What’s wrong with you world?”  He had to do this because the abacus told him to.

When he came back down to earth from space, he landed on his house (with a mouse in it) and crushed both the house and the mouse.  (It was a sad day for the mouse’s family.)  He was extremely mad about all this so he found a tree with a large tree trunk, big enough carve an entirely new house out of the trunk.  He decided to live in the tree from then on.

However, while all this was fun, it still hadn’t helped him solve the mystery of the house with the magical lock.  He knew he needed to look for clues.  So he dressed in his very best Sherlock Holmes costume and began to search the neighborhood for clues that would tell him the secret of the house.

First, he talked with a tree that had a face.  The tree said, “Bblbllblblblblblbl!”  The elf replied, “Oogie, oogie, oogie.”  To which the tree said, “Well, sir, I don’t know anything about the house other than that there is an old man living in the house that died yesterday!”  At this the tree used his mighty branches to push the elf down into a mud puddle.  Now, the elf’s feet were ever so dirty, as well as the rest of him, but mostly his feet.  He went to go wash off his dirty feet and happened to find some footprints… covered in gold!  He picked up the golden footprints and made millions of dollars.

With his newfound wealth, he hired the world’s best living detective, Batman.  Batman called the Justice League and they all went over to the mysterious house to solve the mystery.  What they found has astounded everyone who has heard this tale. They found a….

And then the funny little elf, grew to be an old man.  He never told anyone what they found.  But he did move into the house and had lots of girly tea parties with the ghost.

The End.