Happy Franksgiving

Thanksgiving = A day to give thanks

Pranksgiving = A day to play pranks

Spanksgiving = What happens after Pranksgiving

Hanksgiving = The day we all get our Hanks

Banksgiving = This happens in a parallel dimension

Tanksgiving = How we help other countries in their fight for democracy

Stanksgiving = This happens an hour after Thanksgiving

Franksgiving = Eating smoked meats and other delicacies at my brother-in-laws

Dinner Theater with the Cox Sisters

This is an accurate representation of our conversation at dinner tonight:

Me: “Meghan says she’s going to marry a man who cooks because she hates knives and touching raw meat and chopping vegetables.”

Sam: “I’m gonna marry a man who loves comedy… Or a leprechaun.”

Everyone but Sammee: “A leprechaun, huh?”

Sam: “What?! Leprechauns are hot.”

Meghan: “I don’t think you know what you’re talking about.”

Nick: “Who’s the best looking leprechaun you’ve ever seen?”

Sam: “I just think they’re pretty because they have a lot of money.”

Meghan: “Wow. Sam you don’t know what you’re talking about.”

And scene.

Here’s my proton song, new and improved!

This is my proton song

I sing it all day long

Everybody keep it posi’

And we can’t go wrong

Say no to electrons

Cuz they won’t sing along

All that negative energy

Just feels so wrong