So you had a bad day…

I had a bad day.  It wasn’t my first and it won’t be my last.  Though I feel weak, as if I may crumble, I am clinging to God’s love for me and my family.

I sat with my oldest daughter tonight and talked to her about what we are going through.  I told her it didn’t really matter why we were going through these things, it only mattered how we responded to what was happening.  I believe that too.  I believe that more than anything else, God desires closeness, intimacy with us.  He desires for us to seek Him, to know Him, to know His heart and to love Him as our Father.

Because of this belief, I try not to get too hung up on comfort in this life.  If I have to experience discomfort and heartache, my fervent hope is that I won’t dwell on the “bad” stuff, but that I’ll turn my heart toward the Lord.  I no longer believe that God has to change my physical circumstances to demonstrate His love for me.  If my earthly circumstances are less than desirable, even if they’re downright awful, it doesn’t change His love for me.  My earthly life is but a shadow of my life to come with Jesus.  This life is merely the preparation stage.  It’s preparing my heart, reshaping and purifying me.

So I had a bad day.  My day was worse than someone’s and better than someone else’s.  And it wasn’t the worst day I’ve ever had.  But my heart still aches from watching my loved ones suffer.  But I don’t feel alone.  I know that He is with me.  I feel His presence and I know He is grieving with me.  And that is why, even though I’m wiping away the tears as I type, I can say, “I love You, Jesus.  Thank You.  Thank You for being here with me.  Thank You for loving me and giving me hope and joy.”

I love You, Jesus.


You believe the blessings you have are a result of your own labor, talent or skill but you are mistaken. You are blessed because a sovereign God wills it to be so. Don’t doubt for one moment that everything you have could be taken from you in an instant if He so willed it to be. Instead, marvel at His kindness and remember that every good gift you have received comes from the Father of lights.

I love You, Jesus.

The point of all creation, life, existence, etc. is this: to know God and be known by Him.  It is why you and I were created, why the earth was formed, why the wind blows and the sun rises.

It is too easy as a “Christian” to forget this (or not even really know it to begin with).  I can say from personal experience that I was a Christian long before I understand this foundational truth.  I believed in God, Jesus and the Holy Spirit.  I believed in His love for me and that my sins were paid for on Calvary.  But I was constantly puzzling over why people were created in the first place.  For a very long time all of my bible studies revolved around this one unanswered question.  It was years before I discovered the verse that forever changed my life and understanding of my relationship with Abba Father.

And this is eternal life, that they may know you, the only true God, and Jesus Christ whom you have sent

– John 17:3

In Strong’s Greek Lexicon this word know is actually “ginóskó”.  It means to know, especially through personal experience (first-hand acquaintance).  Another place it can be found in Luke 1:34:

Then Mary said to the angel, “How can this be, since I do not know a man?”

That’s some serious intimacy right there.  We’re not just talking about having some information about God or being buddies.  We’re talking about a deep, abiding friendship that will last for eternity.  I don’t know about you but I’ve never had a friendship last for all eternity.

Some days the beauty of what God has done overwhelms me so much that I cannot read a single word from the bible without crying.  Other days, of course, I’m a mere mortal and forget to read my bible all day long.  But my favorite thing right now is that this reality of why we were created has been rocking my soul lately.  I can’t let it go.

I’ve believed a lot of things over the years.  I’ve said A LOT of stuuuuupid things over the years.  I’ve been prideful, arrogant, misguided.  I’ve jumped the gun, spoken out of turn and put my foot in my mouth like it was a gourmet meal.  But if I can just lay hold of this TRUTH: Father God wants me to know His heart and for me to share my heart fully with Him…  If I can really and truly walk in this, seeking and desiring His presence above all things it will change my life.

This is the word for my life today:


I want to set my spirit on seeking His presence daily, set my mind on His Kingdom and begin to treat my body as the gift that it is.  Some of this is going to be easy.  A lot of it is going to be hard.  I make no promises, swear no oaths and make no vows.  I just want to love my Father more every day and to hear Him speak to me in my heart.

I love You, Jesus.