Know his voice
God
Broken by the love of God
Today I am utterly broken by the love of God. I’m in grief over the ones who scorn him. I’m aching to love him and aching for those I love to love him as well.
God, I pray you open the eyes of our heart as Paul prayed in Ephesians 1:17. I long to see you and I long for those whom I love to see you. Thank you for your grace and mercy. I thank you that you love us as we are and not as we should be.
I leave you, beloved, with this: A song and 5 quotes by Rich Mullins. Enjoy.
Christianity is not about building an absolutely secure little niche in the world where you can live with your perfect little wife and your perfect little children in your beautiful little house where you have no gays or minority groups anywhere near you. Christianity is about learning to love like Jesus loved and Jesus loved the poor and Jesus loved the broken.
Never forget what Jesus did for you. Never take lightly what it cost Him. And never assume that if it cost Him His very life, that it won’t also cost you yours.
I grew up hearing everyone tell me ‘God loves you’. I would say big deal, God loves everybody. That don’t make me special! That just proves that God ain’t got no taste. And, I don’t think He does. Thank God! Because He takes the junk of our lives and makes the most beautiful art.
I take comfort in knowing that it was the shepherds to whom the angels appeared when they announced Christ’s birth. Invariably throughout the course of history, God has appeared to people on the fringes. It’s nice to find theological justification for your quirks.
I look back over the events of my life and see the hands that carried Moses to his grave lifting me out of mine. In remembering I go back to these places where God met me and I meet him again and I lay my head on his breast, and he shows me the land beyond the Jordan and I suck into my lungs the fragrance of his breath, the power of his presence.
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My mother sent me lilies
Surprise lilies are these beautiful lilies with large pink petals and long stems. They show up in the summer suddenly, blooming overnight. They were one of my mother’s favorite flowers. She always wanted to have them in her yard and, in fact, she and I talked about trying to find some bulbs and planting them. But because of her cancer, we never got around to it.
This morning I looked outside and discovered surprise lilies growing in my backyard very near to the place I planted a small memorial flower bed for Mom.
All I wanted was to be able to pick up the phone and call her to tell her that I had surprise lilies growing in my yard. I can hear her reaction in my mind right now. But I couldn’t call her so I put my head into my husband’s chest and just sobbed.
I called my sister and told her about the flowers. She said God gave Mom permission to plant some lilies in my yard. I have to laugh thinking about Mom in heaven pestering God because she just wants to garden some more.
So Mom sent me lilies. Thanks, Mom, they’re beautiful.
P.S. That’s a pic from a few years ago, after Mom took my daughters around our old neighborhood and stole the surprise lilies from the neighbors’ yards to make a bouquet. I told them it was wrong to steal from the neighbors but I laughed and took a pic anyway.
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Looking forward to the dark ages
I’m excited. Thursday I will officially delete my Facebook account. It’s a weird thing to be excited about but I am nonetheless. Since making the decision to delete I have rarely checked my news feed and I have to tell you I have found it very freeing. I keep thinking about life before social media existed, before the internet existed, and I can’t help but feel a freedom in my chest and a relief in my soul.
I think technology is great and beneficial but with every advance we make there will always be drawbacks. One of those drawbacks, in my case anyway, is a sort of social claustrophobia. I need time alone, away from my friends and family. Facebook and other forms of social media have the negative effect on me of making me feel that my friends and family are always with me, watching my every move.
Though I’m rarely on Facebook anymore, I still check it occasionally when I receive a notification and that sense that something is expected from me hangs in the air. Am I supposed to “like” this or “comment” on that? Should I “share” this link or “unfollow” that friend? Do I pretend I didn’t see that “event” or should I go even though I’m not really good friends with that person? Then when I DO see my friends in person there is always that one question, “Did you see what I posted on Facebook?” “You saw those pictures I posted, right?” “Can you believe ‘so and so’ posted that on Facebook?” It’s a kind of social pressure that I am not good at.
I’m convinced that in order to truly draw near to the Father of all creation, we MUST find silence, we must learn solitude. Silence, solitude and quiet are rarely found and rarely sought after in our modern age, and busyness puts a wedge between me and He. He chooses to be a still, quiet voice in our lives. He chooses to connect to us by His most Holy Spirit. If He chooses thus, I must choose to follow.
Perhaps there are many who can find that silence and solitude in their lives and still maintain a Facebook account. I am not one of them, not with two beautiful girls to keep me running, a mother to care for and a husband to spend my evenings making moon eyes at. I love my family, friends and acquaintances but I believe every relationship in my life will be made richer by shedding myself of one more noisy cricket chirping in my ear. If we were friends before Facebook then we should remain so after I have departed. And if we are not friends once I leave, that frees us both up to do other things.
And I say none of this to judge others, either. If you love Facebook, by all means log in as often as you care to. If you are able to maintain an account and limit how often you log in, good for you! If deleting Facebook seems undesirable to you then choose for yourselves whether or not to stay but as for me and my computer, we will delete our Facebook account.
Every Day Bonnie 