Look at you. You found my little Easter egg.

So here it is: what I want in a partner and what I am attracted to.

Nerds. With strong masculine energy. And a lot of dom energy.

Do they play video games? Check.

Like anime? Check.

Dungeons and dragons? Check.

I like someone who geeks out over Star Trek or Pokemon or some fandom I’ve never heard of.

Be weirdly into Star Wars and Lord of The Rings. Be overly into manga.

It’s cute and I like it.

Will I tease you about it and call you a nerd? Absolutely. But it’s just cuz it’s so goddamn adorkable.

But also… be a little mean. If you’re too nice to me I won’t buy it.

I like sarcasm and wit. I like a guy who makes me fall over laughing. Give me a stupid nickname. Be slightly mean. I will probably fall in love.

But never EVER be mean to waitstaff or sex workers or mentally challenged people. Don’t be racist or sexist. Punch up not down.

I have a little thing for that caveman behavior of “see woman, want woman, take woman.” I want to feel wanted, desired. Look at me like you want to devour me. I will melt. (Push me up against a wall and I’m dead.)

I don’t want to be with someone who needs us to do everything together. Sorry, but I need “Bonnie” time. I need my down time away from everyone and everything. If you can get lost playing a video game for hours, fine with me. I have stuff I wanna do too.

I need to be outdoors. I like to garden and hike and camp and go on float trips and sit around fires. Let’s be outside! But not all the time either. I don’t want to be with someone who spends all of their free time outside. I need some inside nerd time too. Balance.

Please like good music. If you don’t that’s fine. It’s honestly not a dealbreaker. But I hope to be with someone who has somewhat decent taste in music. And I’m not gonna tell you what that is.

I need a little ruckus. I like going out and getting silly every once in a while. I know I’m 45 but I’m still in my 20’s dammit. Can’t we just have a night of jello shots and dancing every once in a while?

Let me drag you out on adventures. I like trying new things. Be ok with that and just go with it.

Be able to handle the fact that I talk A LOT, am insecure, and can be quite manic at times.

Physically, I wouldn’t say I have a real type. I like masc energy. In guys, I like beards and biceps. Height isn’t a factor. Six packs are weird. Tattoos are delicious. In girls, femmes are cute and obviously fun to look at and hook up with. But it’s mascs for me all day long. Baseball cap, tattoos, stocky build. Looks like she could throw me onto the bed. Yum. I like hair in both guys and girls. Bald isn’t really my thing. But it’s not a dealbreaker either.

That’s all I got for now.

But, yeah, I think finding this is gonna be next to impossible. I have met a few guys who fit a lot of this, they just don’t like me. LOL.