The year of our Lord and Savior, Timothy James Curry, Two Thousand and Twenty-Six, is upon us.

Your girl has been so messy the last four years, my little loves. But no longer, or at least she’s working on being less messy.

Stepping into this new year single and planning to stay that way. No more apps. No more chasing. No more freaking out because I’m alone. It’s not going to be easy. I’m bad at being alone. But it’s time I stopped focusing on love and relationships.

So what am I going to focus on? Me. Duh.

In 2026 my goals will be simple:

• Improve my financial life
• Improve my emotional life
• Improve my mental life
• Improve my physical life

That’s it. I want to get mentally and emotionally stronger, financially stronger, and hopefully physically stronger.

I have more specific goals than that but those are for me to know. I just really hope by this time next year as we approach 2027, that y’all see a very different girl. I can do anything I put my mind and heart to. So LFG 2026. We got this.

Do you ever feel like you’re right on the verge of something great? That soon life is going to fall into place and become what you’ve always dreamed of? Kinda feeling that way. So here’s a poem about it.

I say what I have to say to get through the day. Knowing I’m not a person anyone will ever love. I’m not relationship material. I don’t love easily. Some people fall in and out of love. I don’t. Once I fall, that’s it. You’ve got me. And even after you break my heart, part of me will always love you to some degree. Can’t help it. I’m loyal and I genuinely care about people. Even people who hate me.

I realized after my heartbreak last year that I’m not someone anyone wants long term. I’m not worth the long term. Not good enough. And I can list every fault I have that makes me not worth it. Lol. At least once a day I remind myself not to ever hope for anything long term or serious again because that’s not in the cards for me. Casual is fine. The hurt will be minimal with casual when they finally get tired of me.

Growing up my mom always told me I was too fat and not pretty enough and my dad always told me I was crazy. And surprise, those are the exact reasons I’ve been told I’m not relationship material. Plus, boring. Lol.

I start to do ok. To focus on me and my goals and be ok with casual dating. And be ok with who and what I am. And be ok with not being enough. And then someone I have loved will just pop into my life to remind me that I’m not worth a long term relationship. And it shouldn’t hurt but it so does.

I may not have a nice body, or be pretty, or be well adjusted but in general I’m kind, generous, caring, empathetic, sweet… ya know, a mildly decent person. And I don’t feel like I deserve to have my heart crushed repeatedly. I get that I’m not good enough but isn’t telling me that once enough? Do we have to keep doing this??

Ugh. Dating and boys are stupid. 💔