And now all I can think is the absolute blindness to my own strangling need for validation. Lol.

I fucking write a poem about wanting to feel safe and knowing no one cares and then write a quick little essay on why I wrote the poem and then POST that shit on my socials. Like, what?? 😂

WTF does my stupid head think is going to happen? Someone will read it and be like, “awwww…” idk. Social media has us all fucked up.

So I guess I’m writing this to say I know no one gives a shit. 😂 It’s time I start keeping shit to myself. Just handle it on my own. I’ve made mistakes and been too loud. Time to quiet down.

Eff. I’ve never been good at that. I’ve always lived too loudly and been too much and felt to much and talked too much. But I can’t survive knowing all I am is too much.

God, give me a break from the punishment I seem to so rightly deserve of being told how much I suck. This has been ongoing for 2 weeks. Back and forth like a fucking ping pong ball between people I’d hoped gave a shit. Instead, those people just feel the need to tell me how much I suck repeatedly.

So yeah. No more posting shit on my socials. Head down. Heart on lockdown.

I just want to feel safe again.

But we all know that’s up to me.