Girls With Opinions: Body Positivity

The girls and I are starting a little YouTube channel for fun!



Currently, the name on the channel is wrong. It’ll take a few days for YouTube to change it. Right now I says “Bonnie Opinions” when it should be “Girls With Opinions”. You can click the link below to go to YouTube.

Girls With Opinions


There is a rose in the bottom of my tea cup

There is a rose in the bottom of my tea cup. tea cup rose I only realized this for the first time while making hot water for my third cup of mint tea of the day. And I’ve had this cup for years.

I’m sure I’ve noticed it before. But not like this. Now I see something I’ve never seen before.

This morning I awoke with a powerful need for mint tea, which is, of course, the best tea. I chose a delicate blue cup with a majestic looking peacock giving me side eye from its perch while I sip my tea. The cup itself is something between a tea cup and a coffee mug. It suited my mood: delicate and feminine but not fragile, able to withstand whatever was thrown at it. I made myself a cup of tea and carried it all over the house with me. I made a second cup later in the day, probably around lunch time. At neither time did I see the blue rose at the bottom.

tea cup 1

Now, the day is ending. I’m readying myself for bed. I see the cup sitting by the sink, a few sips of cold tea resting at the bottom. I decide it’s time for cup of tea number 3. I pour out the cold tea and rinse it out and then, just as I’m setting it down near the electric kettle, I notice a small blue rose at the bottom.

And I realize what a perfect metaphor it is.

I’ve probably seen the rose a hundred times over but never noticed it. I was so interested in getting the cup filled that I failed to see the beauty inside while it remained empty.

When the cup is full, it is full of the most wonderful substance known to man: mint tea. But the cup didn’t choose what it was filled with, I did. I decided what would make the cup worth my time. I decided what would make it beautiful to me. And while I was so anxious to fill the cup with what I needed, I failed to see that it already had something beautiful inside, something that was always there and placed there by its creator.

We rush to see what we want to see in others. Do they contain what we need? Can we fill them with the things and thoughts that we find beautiful and useful? If they don’t have what we want, will we leave them in search of someone who does have it? Can we ever see the beauty that’s already hidden inside them, placed there by their creator?

What about ourselves? We rush to fill ourselves as well. If we are empty, someone else can fill us or something else. But if we act quickly, we can choose what we are filled with. It’ll cover the beauty our creator put inside of us but what a small price to pay in order to feel full, useful, desirable, correct! In fact, it is a hefty price.

If I’d left the cup empty a bit longer, I could have enjoyed the beautiful rose in all its splendor. But I wanted tea. So the rose was washed out once again, muddied by the greenish brown hue of my tea.

What beauty would I find in myself, if I emptied myself out? What majesty did my creator place in me that I’ve been muddying all this time? I’d love to know.

Maybe I’ll find a rose in the bottom of my soul.

Let Me Be Clear…

If I have not accurately said it before, let me attempt to do so now: what I want is Jesus.

I want Yeshua. All of him. All of who he is. All of what he means. All of how he loves.

I don’t want your interpretation of him. I don’t want MY interpretation of him. I don’t want my pastor’s interpretation or my husband’s or the pope’s.

I want him.

What does that mean?

For me that means questioning everything. I question what I’ve always believed, what I’ve always been taught, I question what I professed to believe 5 minutes ago. Because being open to being wrong is the only way I’m going to find Jesus. I will always question and wonder and ask why. How else will I find him?

There are a lot of questions out there. He has the answers. I can study the Bible until I’m blind, listen to sermons until I’m deaf, pray until I’m hoarse. But I won’t find him completely in those things. Not completely. He is and is not in the Bible. He is and is not in those sermons. He is and is not in those prayers. He is so much more. Because he is alive. He is dynamic and complex and wild.

And he loves beyond a measure I can understand.

Yes, God created the world to be a certain way. I will agree with that. But what that way is? I have yet to know for certain.

All I know with any real positivity, is that Jesus is love. And I don’t understand what love is. But I want to.

Love Yourself

Did you know it’s totally ok to love yourself?  It’s in the bible, “Love thyself” 1Bonnie 1:1. Ok, that might be in the apocrypha.

Anyway, I wrote a song about loving myself and not letting the world use me as a punching bag.

 No weapon that is fashioned against you shall prosper,
    and you shall confute every tongue that rises against you in judgment.
This is the heritage of the servants of the Lord
    and their vindication from me, says the Lord.

Isaiah 54:17

Hopefully, you will see the wisdom in this and listen to the song and then tell all your friends about it. (Share it on Social Media and the Social Media Fairy will bring you a golden basket of unicorn kisses! So don’t forget to Like, Comment and Share!)


Image result for unicorn kisses

Dear World I’m Going Back


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When God speaks to you through Ricky Bobby…

sphe-talladega_nights_2006-Full-Image_GalleryBackground-en-US-1484000554780._RI_SX940_Movies speak to me.  They have since I was a kid.  It’s really just stories in general, but being a visual thinker, movies and television have always had a huge impact on me.  In fact, when I write my own stories, I’m generally just trying to describe the pictures playing out in my head.  So it’s no longer a surprise to me when I receive revelation while watching a movie.

Even one as stupid as Talladega Nights.

Don’t get me wrong, I laughed my hiney off watching this movie tonight.  I needed to laugh.  It’s been a rough few days for me.  I try extra hard not to be, but I’m a very dramatic llama sometimes.  And as the meme says, “sumbody dun brokt” me.  Or rather a small army of “sumbodies”.  drama llama

I’ve been experiencing different forms of rejection from people I love for a while now.  And, even though I need to build a bridge and get over it (thank you Hannah Montana), it still hits me where it hurts and makes me eyes choke out tears.

Tonight, watching Ricky Bobby pray to “baby Jesus” over and over again did my heart a giant world of good.  If I can do it somewhat succinctly, I want to try to explain why.

Without going into too much detail (or any really), let’s just say that some people don’t agree with some things I believe and I don’t agree with some things they believe.  I think that pretty much sums up all arguments, ever, over all of time.  But you get the idea.

The real problem (at least for me) is that I worry that what I believe affects my relationship with God.  I really want to follow Jesus.  I want to be one of the scruffy, common, uneducated disciples traipsing around the desert with Jesus, breaking all the rules and changing the world.  I live in fear of being a Pharisee, thinking myself righteous and holy while in actuality living a life of selfishness and pride.  I live in fear of being so self-deluded that I believe I walk among the righteous, when in fact I am walking straight into the gaping maw of Hell.

But this is flawed thinking.

This kind of thinking is changing the beautiful words of Jesus from:

By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another.

John 13:35


By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if your theology is perfect and you have interpreted my words precisely.

John 13:35

How often I have quoted John 13:35!  I love this beautiful verse.  I have tried to live by it.  But I fail.  Oh how I fail!  I stop measuring my discipleship by love and start measuring it by my theological prowess.  And let’s be honest, I don’t have much TP (theological prowess) to begin with.

I’m not the only one.  A lot of us measure our worth as disciples by our understanding of scripture and how well we follow the “rules” as we understand them.  We read our bibles, devotionals, listen to sermons, read books to further our understanding of the “rules” God has “set out” in His word.  We each develop a new set of commandments that we live by based on what we have learned over the years.

And then we become deeply devoted to these commandments.  So devoted that we begin to fear for our loved ones who don’t adhere to these commandments.  Even if our loved ones are doing their very best to follow Jesus in the only ways they know how.  Even if our loved ones are as deeply in love with Jesus and committed to Him as we are, just doing things differently.  We’re afraid that loving Jesus and desperately trying to follow him isn’t enough.  Because, as we established above, we’ve changed the definition of disciple unwittingly from love to knowledge.

I’m not saying all this because I’m judging the people who’ve hurt me.  I’m saying all this from my own personal experience.  I’ve done all of this.  I’ve changed the meaning of discipleship from love to knowledge.  I’ve been afraid that loving Jesus and trying to follow him isn’t enough.  I’ve made my own set of commandments and judged others for not living by them.  Over and over and over and over and over…

As I grow and change and evolve, so too do my “commandments”.  They must change because my understanding of scripture has changed, my vision of Jesus and God has changed, so my commandments must change too.  And the cycle begins all over again as I judge others by my new set of rules.

ughUgh.  I’m getting tired just thinking about it.  It’s so terribly boring and pharisaical.

And that’s it right there.

Watching Ricky Bobby pray his ridiculous and completely hysterical prayers tonight, I realized that we’re all just trying to follow God the only way we know how, well those of us who are trying to follow Him anyway.

And I realized what a hypocrite I am, what a Pharisee.

What I realized is that anyone can be a Pharisee – conservative or liberal.  A Pharisee is just someone who believes that perfect adherence to a set of rules makes you holy and righteous and definitely holier than those who don’t perfectly adhere to those rules.  The rules actually aren’t the important part, it’s how well you adhere to them that matters.

Dang.  Mind explosions.

I was a big, weepy mess before we watched Talladega Nights.  I honestly didn’t think it would cheer me up.  The world was completely ending.  (I’m a dramatic llama, remember?)  And I really didn’t expect to have a huge revelation that would lead me to shift my thinking in a major way.  But it did.

Thanks, Ricky Bobby, for helping me to remember that we’re all just trying to follow Jesus in the best way we know how (those of us trying to follow Jesus anyway).  NONE OF US WILL EVER GET IT PERFECTLY RIGHT.  But if we are truly His disciples we will endeavor to love one another.  That is how we will know we are His disciples, by our love for one another, not by our perfect execution of our interpretation of scripture.

People have hurt me, rejected me because we don’t necessarily believe the same things, but that’s ok.  They’re just trying to follow Jesus the best way they know how.  I can love them even if we don’t agree.  I can love them even if they don’t love me.  Well, I don’t know if I can but I know I can try.



Need input, Stephanie!


*Not Wall-E.

Nick and I have talked about doing a little show at our house for a while. And right now, I’m working up a set list of my original songs.

I have over 50 at least right now. (I haven’t counted for a long time.) And I’m definitely not playing all 50+. So if you have a favorite one of my originals (not covers) let me know and I’ll see if I can add it to the set.

Check out some of my songs here. Obvi, not all my songs are there, and tbh, most of the recordings are terribly made on my iphone. But whatcha gonna do?! I’m not a professional musician, I’m a professional mom!

Anyway, drop me a line, text me, FB, IG, carrier pigeon, something. I’ll let you know when we have a date set. Woot. Now, feed me input.

*For those who don’t know, that is not Wall-E pictured above. That is Johnny 5, who is very much alive, bozo.